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When I was a young mother isolated and overwhelmed on a farm in the western plains of Kansas, I remember being blessed by the voice of Elisabeth Elliot and her admonition to “do the next thing”. It sounds so simple, and certainly she isn’t the only one who has said it as Emily P. Freeman reminds at the beginning of her podcast, The Next Right Thing, each week. Somehow, simplicity though is exactly what one needs when they are overwhelmed by the urgent, the important and the just distracting tasks of life.
A young mom can feel she has it all together and then one night of the baby not sleeping, or a three-year-old with fever and a trip to the doctor and somehow it seems the dishes, laundry, and clutter have multiplied beyond a manageable size. Then, of course, the school-aged child needs 100 something for the 100th day tomorrow, hubby wonders if you could come to pick him up at some field in the far country and don’t forget EVERYONE is hungry, AGAIN!
This is when the “Do The Next Thing” principle helps. Throw out your dreams, goals, and agenda for a bit and use your logic and common sense.
What needs to be done next?
Supper started?
No change the baby’s diaper first and then start supper?
No, back up and throw the load in the washing machine then go to the kitchen and start dinner.
Once it is in the oven or simmering or in a stage you can leave, check the laundry, then back to the dinner while you and your school child brainstorm the 100 things you actually have in your house (not the store) you could send for 100th day.
This may seem like a silly illustration but when we are new to parenting or new to having the second or third, or whatever number child, there are times we just feel so overwhelmed we cannot see the forest for the trees. Step back and assess like a triage nurse what is urgent and important. Many urgent things are not important. Many things which your child may think are urgent and important are neither. Does this mean you should ignore them? No, but sometimes our children have to learn the lesson of waiting for whatever it is they are wanting.
Some of us adults need to also.
I have gone through seasons, not just single days, where I have felt overwhelmed and distracted. It doesn’t help I am a procrastinator. Lately, I am in another one of these seasons so even though I have no babies at home, I have been going back to this same old principle. “Do the next thing”. It looks a little different for me this time.
Usually, I keep a pretty organized planner and calendar. Lately, it seemed I had been lax with it so I started a whole new planner by Ruth Soukup to help me (see it here) work on time blocking and building buffers for surprises and interruptions so I can work on accomplishing my goals. It has helped. Setting a timer for those tasks I typically procrastinate on has always been a game-winner for me but I needed to be reminded of it.
I know with young children a strict schedule is not practical but maybe you want to try this: Not only triage what the next thing is but then set a timer and get it done. Start small, 10 or 15-minute intervals. Timers are the best way to get your family to help tidy up a room or space. It becomes a game. Maybe try making it a game with some kind of simple reward at the end. I have found the things which I dread doing the most (and therefore procrastinate on) rarely take the time I thought they would if I put a time to it.
One final thought for you though: Be careful when things don’t go as you planned. If you are truly trying to live with a spirit of God directing your path, don’t be surprised when he sends interruptions your way in the form of a child, a neighbor, a spouse or something else which deserves your attention, even though you didn’t make a time block for it. Now, go do the next thing.